My two sides

So I have multiple personalities-ok not really, but I have realized that I have 2 sides to me that are very different. Look at the above picture, what do you see? A motorcycle jacket and helmet-someone ready to go for a daring ride, right? But check out the bottom half-a button down skirt-serious working mommy with a lot of responsibilities.

After almost 2 years of persuading, my hubby finally got me to go out on a motorcycle ride with him. And after I got over that "I'm gonna hurl" feeling as we proceeded onto the entrance ramp of Hwy 270, I actually had fun! I began to relax and feel the wind blowing past and I started to notice things around me in a different way. I felt young and free, not worrying about what Evie ate for dinner, or if I remembered to put the towels in the dryer. Once we got off the highway we even had fellow bikers pull up and talk with us-they had no idea about my "other side" they just saw me as some "biker chic."

But, my other side is who I am most of the time. I am a mommy, a wife and a nurse-responsible for my child, my husband, my patients, my home. I am safe, I don't take risks. I worry about whether Evie should eat peas or carrots for dinner and which sunscreen will offer the best protection against UVB and UVA rays-not something this cool "biker chic" would concern herself with.

So the question of the day- Is it possible to be both? and if it is-how do I combine the two? and the answer-Yes, I think I can still be fun and free-to some degree and still be a good mom. Now how to combine the two-I am still working on that one, but maybe one day I will figure it out.

15 months old-oh my!

Recently we have had to deal with tantrums, whining, getting into everything-the not so much fun stuff about having a 15 month old-but today I am not going to talk about that. No, today I will focus on what I love about my 15 month old because she is only this age once and no matter what "bad" things we have to deal with I want to remember all the good things about a 15 month old. So Here I go:

What I love about having a 15 month old:

She finds excitement in everything around her, everything is new and an adventure-a bug, a flower, dirt (an apparently dirt is a fun thing to eat), grass, a chirping bird, a barking dog (which are both fun to mimic) She helps me to remember to "stop and smell the roses" so to speak.

She is learning a new word almost every day-you can see pure concentration on her face as we repeat a word while holding up an object, then she either silently mouths or whispers the word until she knows she has it correct (she is a bit of a perfectionist like that mommy of hers) then once she has it she proudly belts it out-"DUCK!" with that huge eye squinting grin of hers. She has quite the vocabulary now (mama, dada, puppy, kitty, up, hi, bye, no, uh-oh, tickle, backpack-thanks to Dora, and more recently fishy and duck. to name a few) It is so amazing to watch this little person learning our language!

She is a lot easier to pack for- no bottles, formula, baby food, burp clothes. It is so much easier to go to a restaurant and order off the menu for her when we go out.

She mimics everything we do from picking up a phone and saying "hi" to blowing kisses, making a crazy face and growling (Dada taught her that of course). Washing her hands at her little tike's sink (she made her germaphobe mama so proud!) Picking up a tissue out of the box and "blowing" her nose-although she has yet to actually get anything out-which would be helpful. (sorry it that is TMI) She pretends to cough or sneeze if we do. She will do the oh so popular (or at least in the Rankin household) "Home Alone face" (one hand to each cheek with the mouth open) -It was made famous by Aunt Shannon-probably when she was around 15 months old.

She is becoming more and more independent every day-feeding herself (for the most part-although half of it ends up on the floor or Arnie's mouth) , entertaining herself (although the "entertainment" is usually rearranging mama's kitchen or pulling all of her clothes out of her drawers, or all the books off her shelf)

... but she is still my baby that cruises over to me and lifts her arms up for a quick cuddle before returning back to playtime.

And I LOVE that she gives me kisses now when I ask-it melts my heart! And I know that although she cannot say the words "I love you" yet-I know she does and I love my little Evie-bear right back!

So for mother's day Evie "made" me a picture with a little poem (with the help of her daycare teachers of course) and honestly it brought tears to my eyes, so I just thought I would share the poem:

Hand prints

Sometimes you get discouraged

because I am so small

And always leave my fingerprints

on furniture and walls.

But every day I'm growing-

I'll be grown some day.

And all those tiny hand prints

will surely fade away.

So here's a little hand print

Just so you can recall

exactly how my fingers looked

wen I was very small.

and at the bottom were her little purple hand prints

This poem touched me since just a few days before I found myself grumbling about her fingerprints all over the TV-but one day she will be grown and I will miss those tiny hand prints covering my home. Evie girl, I love you so much and am proud to be your mommy and next time I see your hand prints covering something, I will smile and cherish this time that you are small. Because, as everyone has told me since you were growing in my belly and I am now finding it to be true-babies grow up too fast!

Tomorrow

Often times I find myself saying a common phrase, one that many people use: "I will get to that tomorrow." For example, when I have spend all day cleaning, and not much time playing with my daughter I may rationalize it by saying "tomorrow I will spend more time with my girl". When the day is coming to an end and exhaustion is setting in, I reason "tomorrow I will read my devotions because I am just too tired tonight." After rushing out of the house in the morning with no more than a quick "bye" to my husband I reassure myself with the thought "tomorrow I will remember to kiss him and tell him that I love him." After a busy day at work I may think "tomorrow will be a better day to tell that hurting person about God's love." When I get too busy to call a friend or family member that I have not talked to in a while I tell myself "I will get to that call tomorrow."
But, we are not guaranteed a tomorrow. My tomorrow may never come. I do not know what tommorw will bring for me or for those I love. I may not get another opportunity to cuddle with my sweet baby. I may never get another day to spend playing and laughing with her. I may never have another chance to say " I love you" that one last time to my soul mate. I may not get another moment to share God's love with that hurting person. I may never be able to make that phone call to a loved one. My time on this earth is temporary for Heaven is my eternal home, but while I am here on this earth for a short time I pray that I can make each moment matter. God, help me keep my priorities in line, help me not to be distracted by the things of this world, but to keep focused on You first and foremost and secondly on those you have placed in my life while I am on this earth. Thank you God for my family and friends-I am truly blessed.

lions and tigers and bears-oh my!

OK, maybe my post title should read-penguins, goats and a carousel-oh my! We took Evie to the zoo for the first time on Saturday and it was fun! We went with our good friends the Clayton family. Once we got to the zoo, navigated a good parking spot and figured out what the heck a zoo-goer pass included we were ready to begin our adventure. We first headed to the carousel-why?-because it is free before 10 am of course! I envisioned an adorable photo-op of Evie with a grinning face sitting on top of a cute little monkey figurine as we gently glided up and down-instead I got a terrified baby that had a death grip on me, and and an out of focus picture of a poor scared, shaking baby-but at that point we could not get off so we just made the best of it and tried to comfort her all while thinking-"can't wait to share this story of her first carousel ride with her once she is a teenager"-I am sure we will all be able to laugh about it someday!Next stop the angry gorillas-they were playing some sort of hide and seek game with each other, and then one beat on it's chest which created a huge thud-we asked the guys if they could make that noise when banging on their chests-they could not. I think the gorillas were more entertaining for the adults. After that we headed towards the children's zoo-which was a hit! She loved "petting" (or grabbing and smacking) the goats! They had to have been a bit sedated as they just sat there as children grabbed,hugged and pulled their horns-oh wait that was my 29 year old husband that was grabbing the horns (he "just wanted to know what they would do") Evie even dropped her beloved paci to the ground in her excitement. She also pet the guinea pigs but wanted nothing to do with the snake. From there we had a picnic lunch-let me tell you trying to get a one year old to eat her food (her own food and not another person's food) while sitting on a blanket on the ground is no easy task-she really just wanted to crawl around and investigate what everyone else was eating ("but mom-I found it on the ground fair and square") After lunch we visited some more animals and my little actress had fun copying the birds "woo-hoos" causing a good laugh from our group. We walked around and saw various other animals but she was too tired to care and ended up dozing in the stroller. I wish I could have dozed in the stroller too! We ended our day at the penguin house which was cold-but she enjoyed watching the penguins-until they splashed her in the face with cold water which elicited a cry and another death grip on mommy. Poor girl-but all in all I think she had a good day! Can't wait to go again!

One year ago today....

(taken 2/23/10 at 12:49pm-exactly one year old!)

My Dear sweet Evie,

One year ago today I looked into your beautiful blue eyes for the first time and fell in love. In fact, one year ago today I learned what unconditional love was. I kissed your sweet soft cheek for the first time and have kissed your sweet face every day for a year. One year ago today I saw your daddy cry like he has never cried-tears rolling down his face-without shame but with pride as he held his little girl for the first time. One year ago today I became a mommy. One year ago today I proudly showed you off to our friends and family for the first time as they gathered to meet you. One year ago today I snuggled you and fed you for the first time. One year ago today I rocked you to sleep for the first time. One year ago today my life was thrown into a tailspin of dirty diapers, bottles, crying (both of us),teething, illnesses and no sleep-all completely worth it of course.

In one year you have learned so much-you eat on your own, crawl, pull up to a stand, clap, wave, say a few words (mama, dada, kitty, hi and bye) and you are an expert at harassing the animals. In one year you have developed your own unique personality-you are calm and content like your dada most of the time but when something does not sit well with you (like when I take away the tv remote or wipe your face after dinner) you have a bit of a temper like your mama. You are so funny and have developed quite a sense of humor-I love to hear you laugh! In one year you have grown-going from 7 lbs 9 oz to an impressive 21 lbs! In one year you have developed likes (animals, music, books, peas, applesauce,) and dislikes (getting your nose suctioned, taking Motrin and your blow-up penguin)

As I watched you shove cake into your mouth for the first time I thought about all the adventures we have had together over the past year and I look forward to all the new adventures we will experience together as you grow. I am sad to see my baby grow up but am happy that you are healthy, happy and thriving. As you enter toddler hood I would like to quote a part of a book that you got for your birthday-yes it may be a bit cheesy and when you are older you will probably roll your eyes at me, but here it goes: "I will love you forever, I will like you for always, as long as I am living my baby you will be." One year ago today my life completely changed, I received the best gift ever- God blessed me with you!

As I look back at 2009 I can't believe what a wonderful, exciting, crazy year it has been! And through it all God has been right there with us in every step! Dennis dealt with several layoffs throughout 2009 after his job with Huey's Honda ended when they sold the auto body shop only months after Evie's birth. But God was right there and He was never went longer than a month without a job and even in between jobs he always found some kind of a side job. He is such a hard worker and takes such good care of his girls! He is now working at a small shop that has only been in buisness for a year. Although the hours are long he is very happy there and enjoys working with the 2 other guys at the shop. The owner really seems to appreciate his hard work and is very happy with the job he is doing.
I also have been keeping busy, still working as a cardiology nurse. I enjoy working with the doctors and patients. Evie is at the daycare at the hospital that I work at and I love to go see her on my luchbreak! Evie has been busy learning all sorts of new things. She waves hi and bye and sometimes will say buh buh (bye bye) as she waves goodbye. She says mama, dada and baba (bottle) and has attempted to say puppy (comes out like "pu"). She loves to mimick us when we blow raspberries, click our tounges or stick out our tounges-we are teaching her such great things (can you sense my sarcasm?!) she claps her hands-especially if we cheer. She loves "dance" when we put on music. Dancing for her involves shaking her head around and waving her arms in the air like a mad woman-but it is very cute I must say! She finally decided to start crawling about a month ago and now she is everywhere-she has a weird half army half inch bug looking crawl but she can get across a room in seconds! She is just starting to pull up on things-mainly my pant leg as she tries to climb up me! She is starting to get the hang of table foods and finger foods but as of now wants nothing to do with a sippy cup! I even tried drinking from a sippy cup to show her how much fun it was to drink like a big girl but she just threw her sippy cup down in fury and screamed until I gave her a bottle! Guess we will have to keep working on that one! She sleeps all night and generally takes good naps, often she will sit up and talk to herself in her crib until she gets tired enough to fall asleep. Christmas was soo much fun and we enjoyed watching Evie open her presents-although I could have saved a lot of money and just wrapped up empty boxes since she had more fun playing with the wrapping paper and eating bows. We are now in the process of planning her first birthday party-I can't believe my baby is almost 1! Where has the time gone?!