Stop, Wait, Pray!

Every morning when I drop Evie off at preschool we pray before getting out of the car. This tradition started when she was going through a bit of separation anxiety and would cry at drop-off every morning, we started praying that the Lord would be with her and help her not to be scared. Anyway, yesterday morning I was in a bit of a rush, we woke up late, things were not going smoothly, patience was not a virtue I was practicing at that moment, tempers were flaring. You get the idea. So as I pulled up at the daycare I completely forgot to pray and started getting Evie out of her car seat and she exclaimed "Stop, Wait, we need to Pray" So, I stopped, we said our daily prayer and I dropped her off as usual. But those words stuck with me. Stop, Wait, Pray. So often in life I get caught up with daily tasks and stresses and forget to stop and wait on the Lord and spend time in prayer. I make it into something that I will do if I get time once everything else is done, but really what I need to do before anything else is pray. It is my power source. I would not expect my I-phone to be in use all day and then continue to work the next day without plugging it into the power source for a time. So why do I think that I will be able to continue to function without my power source? Amazing what a few simple words from a 4 year old can do. Tonight I took that advice to stop, wait and pray. I went to my Churches prayer night and I am feeling renewed, refreshed and encouraged. (If you don't already attend, I would highly recommend it by the way)I am also going to make it a habit to spend time in prayer each morning and get connected to my power source before starting the day.

4 years old!

(photo taken at 12:49pm on 2/23/13-exactly 4 years old!) So, I am a few days late on the birthday post but that is what happens when you have a birthday party on the actual birthday-you need the time to recover and get the house back in order. Dear Evie, I can not believe you are already 4! Where has the time gone? I pick you up and try to snuggle you like a baby and remember what it was like to touch your newborn skin and smell your little bald head, but you bring me back to reality when you roll your eyes and say "mom I am not a baby!" No, Evie you are no longer a baby. You make that very clear when I try to help you do things like take off your shirt. You get irritated and tell me "mom I can do it myself!" And, while a part of me is saddened by this reminder, I am mostly proud and happy. After all, that is the point in raising children, so that they will become independent and productive members in society. You are very smart and do well in pre-school. You are learning how to write your letters and what word starts with what letter. I love it when we are in the car and I hear you sounding out letters that you see "SSS-Steak N' Shake!, That starts with an S!" You can write your name (Evelyn and Evie-but you prefer Evie) You are learning to use scissors and you had so much fun "helping" me cut out decorations for your birthday party. You love to color and draw and put stickers on every paper in sight. You love books, and that makes this book-worm mama's heart happy. When I took you on your first trip to the library your eyes lit up in amazement that you could pick out any of those books to take home and borrow. You love movies, and almost every Friday night we have a movie night sometimes we will get in our PJ's and snuggle in blankets and eat lots of yummy (and not so healthy) snacks while we watch the movie. Some of your favorite movies lately have been Dumbo, Finding Nemo, and pretty much any Thomas the Train movie. You love to help me bake and you are so cute in your little apron. You can be girly at times and ask me to paint your nails and put on chap stick. But at school your teacher says you are all tom-boy-playing with cars and trains and not letting any of the boys push you around. I love that about you, that you have many different sides to you. I hope you stay that way and don't ever try to be someone you are not. Don't let this world put you in a box and label you a certain way, because you my dear, are your very own person and I would not change one thing about you! You are funny, you get jokes and humor. You have a sarcastic side to you, but with your father and I as your parents it does not surprise me one bit! You are sweet and thoughtful, sometimes out of the blue you will tell me "thank you mom for this shirt, I love it." You are sensitive and can get your feelings hurt easily but only for a minute, then you are back to your bubbly self. You talk, all the time, and we never know what is going to come out of your mouth next. You love to play with your Thomas the Train toys, your Leap Pad (that you keep calling your I-pad) and your stuffed horses and dogs. You love to sing and dance and it cracks me up whenever you take off your clothes before bath time you do "the nakey dance" You will swing your hips, wiggle your booty and even shake baby bears rattle head for effect. We have fun playing Just Dance on the Wii together as well (only mommy always remains clothed :) You are such a special little girl and I could not imagine life without you. I pray for you every day, that you will come to know and serve God and always place Him first in your life. I pray for your future friends and husband-that God will bless you as much as He has me in this area. I pray for your health and safety. I pray that you will grow to do things that you love,and be who God has created you to be without worrying about what this world thinks, I pray that you will keep your sweet spirit. I am sad to see you grow, but excited to see all that God has in store for your one wild and precious life! Happy 4th Birthday!

Dear Evie...

(picture taken at 12:49 pm on 2/23/12-exactly 3 yrs old!)


I swear, all I did was blink and this tiny, helpless baby turned into a little girl, although You would argue that you are a big girl! 3 years ago today, I held you in my arms for the first time and imagined who you would become as you grew. You, my dear, have already exceeded my expectations! It is amazing when you hold your newborn baby for the first time you think you could not possibly love them anymore than you do at that moment, but something amazing happens, your love for them grows as they grow because now I don't just love you because you are mine but for who you are. I love your sweet and funny personality. I love it when you ask me to snuggle on the couch with you when we get home from work/daycare. I love it when you randomly say "I love you mom" while we are playing when I have not even said it first. I love that you have certain likes (Dora, Cars movie, Toy Story movie, cupcakes, books) and dislikes (having your teeth brushed, or your face wiped to name a few) You say the funniest things sometimes like when I took your book away when when you were playing with it instead of going to sleep you replied " I am gonna tell your mommy!" or when you threw your arms in the air and said "Seriously! This place is a mess!" (something tells me you learned that one from me) Some of your latest phrases are "cool!" when you are excited about something or "Are you kidding me?!" ( something also tells me you got your sense of sarcasm from me too) Sometimes I think you are 3 going on 16! But along with the sarcasm you are also becoming a sweet, polite little girl. Like when you tell me "Ok mom!" most of the time when I ask you to do something. You also tell me please and thank-you on your own and are learning to ask "May I please..." when asking for something. You are a big helper, always happy to pick up toys, You even have a cute little clean up song you sing while you clean. You help me feed the dog, and help hold his leash while we walk, you throw trash away on your own, and help me with dusting too! You love to sing and know quite a few songs like Jesus Loves Me, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and ABC's. You even woke us up singing a Veggie Tales song at 2 am one morning! You count to 10 in English and (with some help) in Spanish too. You have learned to use the potty and you are very proud of your big girl undies! You now are now 36 1/2" tall and weigh 29.8 lbs! You have long legs (like your daddy) and curly hair (like mommy) But you are definitely your own little person, and I love it! As you grow I pray for you. I pray first and foremost that you will grow to be a woman of God that loves Him with all of your heart and follows His Word. I pray for you to be surrounded by good friends that will always be there for you, I pray for your future husband (I know dada is not ready to think about this one yet-or maybe ever :) I pray for you to be just exactly who God intended you to be, to be confident in who you are, never compromising yourself for others. Because you, little one, are perfect just the way God made you. And God knew you were the perfect little girl for daddy and I. We love you lots! Happy Birthday, Evie bear!

Just Dance!

Have you ever watched a little kid dance? They don't look around to see if anyone is watching. They don't care if they have the best moves or are in rhythm. I watched Evie the other day when a song she apparently liked came on, she got a big grin on her face, complete with the squinty eyes that come whenever she smiles. Her little diaper bootie started shaking and she started swinging her arms around randomly, much like how her mama dances. She was not embarrassed or shy, she heard the music, felt the music and did what came naturally-she grooved to the music. At what point in our lives do we start to be concerned with what others think? When did I become worried that someone might laugh at my no-rhythm having self gyrating around with my one arm that always ends up in the air (according to my hubby this is how I always look when I dance, but I just claim it is my "signature move" ) Why can't I dance whenever I hear a good song, whether in my head or in reality. Like, someday I just want to be at work and be like "Why yes doctor, I did get that cardiac cath report on Mr. Jones, and I also got...my groove on" or "Sure I will pull up those chest films for you to review and then I will show you my way cool dance moves" and then just bust out with a dance. Now that would be awesome, OK I may lose my job if I did that or at the very least be looked at like I have to heads and be known as that crazy cardiology nurse that scares patients (and doctors) with her dancing, but you have to admit, it would be fun! It is not just toddlers that feel free to dance without fear of how they will be judged, but also the "more mature population." I once saw an older couple at an outdoor concert just dancing away, totally unconcerned with the fact that no one else was dancing, they were just in the moment, they were feeling the music, and I personally thought they were adorable and that when I am "old" I hope to be the same way. But why? Why can't I just bust out with a dance now? I wish I could just not care about looking professional or pulled together all the time and just have fun, life is too short not to enjoy, so if you see me walking down the street and I stop to "bust a move" try not to laugh-at least not too hard, and maybe join in-I promise-it will be fun!

Insanity

no, I am not going crazy, or maybe I am...

A few months ago I was whining once again about my flabby post baby stomach (yes, I realize the kid is now 2 and eventually I need to quit blaming my being flabby on having a baby) Anyway, the hubby and I were laying in bed watching TV and on comes an infomercial for a workout video called Insanity which promised Insane results (if you are willing to put forth an insane amount of effort that is) in 60 days. We looked at the before and after photos and I said, without really thinking, " Now that is what I need! I need results in 60 days!' And my hubby actually did not laugh at me as I would have expected, but rather said " Hmm, I would like to have more muscles in 60 days-maybe I need this too!" we joked about "becoming buff" for a few minutes before rolling over and going to sleep. I did not think much more about it. A few days go by and the hubs walks in holding a "present" for me-that is right he found a brand new copy of the Insanity work out videos on Craig's list for about half the price! I immediately thought "Oh Lord, what have I gotten myself into?" We decided to wait to start the videos due to hubby just getting over the flu, well the DVDs sat there on top of the entertainment center, unopened for a few weeks. Fast forward to Monday June 20th , I was sitting on the couch, feeling very sluggish, no energy, out of shape and really, almost depressed and I thought-I need to do something, so I grabbed the box and opened it up and asked hubs if he was game-he was-and so began our Insanity adventure. The first night is simply a fit test to see how many reps you can do of certain exercises-ok not too hard but I did feel quite out of shape seeing how many reps the people on the DVD could do and how few I could do. But, after all this is only day one right? Day 2 came-and kicked my bootie. I had more sweat rolling off of me than I have had with any other workout, heck, I was sweating more than when I was in labor! The next day I was feeling it-I looked like an old woman trying to climb out of bed. Muscles that I did not even know I had were sore! But I stuck with it, and now I have just completed day 2 of the third week (hubby had to stop for the time after getting a really bad ear and sinus infection that caused him to get dizzy) It is hard, really hard, but I knew it would be, after all it is called Insanity, right?! But, what is amazing is my energy level is better, my mood is better, even my memory and concentration seems to be improving just by exercising 6 days a week. I also repeated the fit test on day 15 and had improvement on all of the exercises (anywhere from 3-19 more reps) I used to go to the gym a few times a week but was not pushing myself. I would go and put the hour in a half-hearted manor and expect results, and saw no change. It is definitely a challenge to commit to working out intensely 6 nights a week, especially with working full time and having a 2 year old and a house to take care of, but I need to do this for me. I am just most afraid I will spend all this time and effort and not see the results I want, but I guess only time will tell. I also hope not to lose my motivation, but it helps having a set time frame of 60 days-just make it through 60 days and then, I don't know what is next but I would love to say I completed the entire 60 day program. Oh, and as for diet, I am not following any set diet plan other than eating healthy, high protein foods (including protein bars in the morning and a protein shake after a workout) and trying to stay away from foods high in sugar and empty calories. But, I will admit I am still a dr. pepper addict and I need my caffeine so that is the one vice I have. So, there it is, and I will not post any before pics until I have after pics that I am satisfied with to display side by side.

If you have not heard of Insanity here is a link to the video (because I am technologically challenged and cannot figure out how to post a video to my blog)

http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/insanity.do?gclid=CIiN_87d66kCFVDCKgodmHbkYA&code=SEMB_GOOGLE_SAN&extcmp=gd05bbe2dc2c4090&ef_id=2g5M@ldkAQABwOw:20110706030356:s

Don't Conform, be Transformed

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. -Romans 12:2

Often times I find myself asking God-"what is your will for my life?" or "what should I do in this situation" and I get irritated and frustrated when I don't get an answer. But, I am going about it all wrong. I am spending too much time conforming to the pattern of this world and not enough time renewing my mind and being transformed. I want to look a certain way, I want my house to look just right, I want everyone to like me. I read magazines that are filled with useless information, I waste too much time on facebook or blogs just looking to see what others are doing and saying. I spend too much time cleaning. I spend time shopping and trying to get the best deals. None of these are "bad" things- in fact some of them are good, but I have let them take the place of reading God's word, I get too busy and at the end of the day I skim through a few verses and a quick devotional and expect that to renew my mind?! Most of the time when I wake up in the morning I don't even remember what I read.

The definition of renew is to revive; reestablish. If I really want to revive my mind I need to dig deep into the word of God, press in and seek him in prayer so that I will no longer be conformed to this world but be transformed (to change in condition, nature or character; convert.) Once I am transformed I will be able to understand and follow God's will for my life, his good, pleasing and perfect will.

only 2 for a minute

Today I started out my usual Saturday routine of laundry, sweeping floors and picking up toys when I looked over at Evie quietly looking at her books and then I looked out of the window and saw the sun shining, I quickly said "forget this!" I got us both dressed and her, daddy and I went to the Florissant Valley of Flowers festivities. We walked around the craft fair, watched jugglers and clowns, listened to a band play silly kid songs and watched a ventriloquist act-Evie had a very serious look on her face and watched very intently-still not sure if she was scared or just really into it-maybe a little of both. We then went to Steak-n-Shake for lunch and then home for nap time (for Evie) and sit outside and flip through magazine time (for mama) The little one only napped for an hour-I think she instinctively knew that napping inside was a waste of a perfectly gorgeous day. When she woke up we played outside with her little cars, rolling them off the porch and into the flowerbed-it does not take much to excite her. I love seeing things through her eyes-she notices every little bug and stick. She sees things so differently then I as an adult do. For instance, the welcome mat on my porch has a design in it that I have never really paid much attention to, she looked at it and pointed to a spot and said plane, and sure enough at second glance it did look like a plane! We then took Arnie for a walk I let her hold the very end of the leash, and let her "help" me walk him, although I had the mid potion of the leash and was keeping him from pulling she was so proud to be "walking the dog". And the bonus- by her holding onto the leash it kept her from running off which is always a good thing. When we got home it cracked me up that the first thing she told dada about was that "Arnie pooped on the ground" She was so bothered that he just did his business right there and then to make matters worse mama picked it up with a little plastic bag-which when you think about it, to a two year old that would be quite disturbing. We played outside some more and then I cooked dinner on the grill and we ate outside. I just could not get enough of this weather. And I could not get enough of my little girl! She is so funny and smart. I am so glad that I put away my chore list and spent the day with my little girl, because chores will always be there but my little girl will only be two for a minute.

And since she will only be this small for a short time I want to share some funny/sweet things she says and does so that I will not forget!

-her ball was rolling away the other day and she set it on the ground, pointed her little finger at it and told it very sternly "you stay right there"

-the dog was barking in the kitchen while we were in the bedroom so Evie ran down the hall and asked "Arnie, why you barking? need to go potty?"

-I bought her a new bedspread for her big girl bed and while it was still in the package I showed it to her and she wrapped her arms around it and said "ohh I like it" and she wanted to take it with her to daycare. Then when I finished hanging pictures and curtains in her new "big girl room" she told me "ohh I love it mama, thank you"

-she says "please" "thank you" and "you are welcome" -most of the time on her own and it makes this mama proud

- one night I heard her saying "thank you Jesus for mama and dada and house and food" while she was laying in bed.

-she sings her "abc's" and "Jesus loves me" and she counts (with some help) to 10-although she has some struggles with colors and likes to call every color pink-what can I say, she is a girl, or if I ask "what color is that" she just repeats the question back to me if she is not sure of the answer-it cracks me up!

-I love how she is showing emotions like pride like when she helps feed the dog or when I walked into her daycare class for her mother's day party she just beamed-it seriously melts my heart.

-although, at some point this may get old, right now it is so sweet when she is always asking questions "what's that mama?" "what are you doing dada?" "where is Arnie" she is so curious and just wants to know what is going on around her and I am the luckiest mama in the world to be able to teach her all these things.

I could go on and on but for now,on the the day before mother's day, I will just leave this one message to my sweet Evie-bear. I love you so much and I am so proud to be your mama, everything you do amazes me. God picked you out special for me and entrusted me to be the mama that raises you and while I may not be perfect I will always try to do my best and you will always be my sweet baby girl. And although you may not understand how much this mama loves you, one day when you are looking down at your own sweet babies, then my dear, you know.