only 2 for a minute

Today I started out my usual Saturday routine of laundry, sweeping floors and picking up toys when I looked over at Evie quietly looking at her books and then I looked out of the window and saw the sun shining, I quickly said "forget this!" I got us both dressed and her, daddy and I went to the Florissant Valley of Flowers festivities. We walked around the craft fair, watched jugglers and clowns, listened to a band play silly kid songs and watched a ventriloquist act-Evie had a very serious look on her face and watched very intently-still not sure if she was scared or just really into it-maybe a little of both. We then went to Steak-n-Shake for lunch and then home for nap time (for Evie) and sit outside and flip through magazine time (for mama) The little one only napped for an hour-I think she instinctively knew that napping inside was a waste of a perfectly gorgeous day. When she woke up we played outside with her little cars, rolling them off the porch and into the flowerbed-it does not take much to excite her. I love seeing things through her eyes-she notices every little bug and stick. She sees things so differently then I as an adult do. For instance, the welcome mat on my porch has a design in it that I have never really paid much attention to, she looked at it and pointed to a spot and said plane, and sure enough at second glance it did look like a plane! We then took Arnie for a walk I let her hold the very end of the leash, and let her "help" me walk him, although I had the mid potion of the leash and was keeping him from pulling she was so proud to be "walking the dog". And the bonus- by her holding onto the leash it kept her from running off which is always a good thing. When we got home it cracked me up that the first thing she told dada about was that "Arnie pooped on the ground" She was so bothered that he just did his business right there and then to make matters worse mama picked it up with a little plastic bag-which when you think about it, to a two year old that would be quite disturbing. We played outside some more and then I cooked dinner on the grill and we ate outside. I just could not get enough of this weather. And I could not get enough of my little girl! She is so funny and smart. I am so glad that I put away my chore list and spent the day with my little girl, because chores will always be there but my little girl will only be two for a minute.

And since she will only be this small for a short time I want to share some funny/sweet things she says and does so that I will not forget!

-her ball was rolling away the other day and she set it on the ground, pointed her little finger at it and told it very sternly "you stay right there"

-the dog was barking in the kitchen while we were in the bedroom so Evie ran down the hall and asked "Arnie, why you barking? need to go potty?"

-I bought her a new bedspread for her big girl bed and while it was still in the package I showed it to her and she wrapped her arms around it and said "ohh I like it" and she wanted to take it with her to daycare. Then when I finished hanging pictures and curtains in her new "big girl room" she told me "ohh I love it mama, thank you"

-she says "please" "thank you" and "you are welcome" -most of the time on her own and it makes this mama proud

- one night I heard her saying "thank you Jesus for mama and dada and house and food" while she was laying in bed.

-she sings her "abc's" and "Jesus loves me" and she counts (with some help) to 10-although she has some struggles with colors and likes to call every color pink-what can I say, she is a girl, or if I ask "what color is that" she just repeats the question back to me if she is not sure of the answer-it cracks me up!

-I love how she is showing emotions like pride like when she helps feed the dog or when I walked into her daycare class for her mother's day party she just beamed-it seriously melts my heart.

-although, at some point this may get old, right now it is so sweet when she is always asking questions "what's that mama?" "what are you doing dada?" "where is Arnie" she is so curious and just wants to know what is going on around her and I am the luckiest mama in the world to be able to teach her all these things.

I could go on and on but for now,on the the day before mother's day, I will just leave this one message to my sweet Evie-bear. I love you so much and I am so proud to be your mama, everything you do amazes me. God picked you out special for me and entrusted me to be the mama that raises you and while I may not be perfect I will always try to do my best and you will always be my sweet baby girl. And although you may not understand how much this mama loves you, one day when you are looking down at your own sweet babies, then my dear, you know.

Happy Birthday my sweet Evie bear!

(picture taken on 2/23/11 at 12:49 pm-exactly 2 years old)

Dear Evie, are you really 2 years old? Where has the time gone? I blinked and you went from a tiny, helpless newborn to an energetic toddler! Each day I feel like I love you more, if that is even possible. You are such a funny, sweet, happy girl. Your daddy and I are so proud to be your parents. I look at you and am amazed at how blessed I am to get the honor of being your mommy. You have developed your own unique personality. You are shy in new situations, but once you are comfortable, you become the life of the party. You are so sweet and loving and you give the best kisses when asked, complete with the "Mmmah" sound. I love it when I pick you up from daycare and as soon as you see me your face lights up and you run over to me and wrap your arms around me and exclaim "mommy!" and then you point to me and tell the other kids in your class that I am your mommy, like you are proud to have me as a mom. And that melts my heart, and I am taking it all in now because I know as you grow you will go through stages where mom is not cool anymore, but for now I am your favorite and that is all that matters! You are a bit of a perfectionist and like things to be just a certain way, and you get quite irritated when things are not going your way (I guess you took after mommy in more ways then I realized) You are talking so much now and you are so smart! You know most animals and the noises they make. You count to 1o with a little help, you can sing your ABC's with a little help as well. It is so fun seeing you go from a little baby that just repeats what we say, to a toddler that uses words to communicate. When I asked you what you wanted the other day you looked up at me with those big blue eyes and said "a drink of milk" as if you had been talking your whole life. You also like to grab our hands and say "come on" and direct us to where you want us to go. You have favorites now, like Mickey Mouse, your "baby bear", monkeys, cheese (especially string cheese), coloring and Little Peoples. Your favorite shows include Dora, The Fresh Beat Band and Wow Wow Wubzy, you also love your Elmo's Potty Time DVD, although you are not so fond of sitting on your own potty yet, but that will all come in time. You like music and will sing along when I sing to you before bed -and that by the way is my favorite part of the day when we sit in your room in the rocking chair and snuggle, read books, sing and say our prayers. You even will add your list of things that we thank Jesus for, sometimes they are quite random like when you thanked Jesus for our house, daddy's pocket and Elmo. But you are learning to pray and that makes me so proud. I could go on and on about all of the things that I love about you and all of the funny things you say and do, but I won't, at least not now. I will leave you with this one last thought. Although I tell you to quit growing and to stay little, I know that will not happen. You will continue to grow and mature, as you should. And though it is hard as a mommy, I will let you experience things in life and not try to keep you my tiny baby. Because as a certain person keeps telling me, it is like the movie Finding Nemo, if I say that I will never let anything happen to you ever, that would be selfish of me, because by keeping things from happening to you I am keeping you from good and exciting things as well. So my dear Evie, it is hard for me to say,but I want you to continue to grow into a sweet young lady that I already see in you. You will fall down sometimes and I will be here to pick you up and kiss your hurts but as you leave this baby stage I want you to know you are doing exactly what you should and that, my dear could not make this mama happier. I love you and had a great day with you today. Happy birthday my big girl!

Christmas, Coupons, Snow and turning 30!

Wow! I can't believe how long it has been since I blogged! Where do I begin? Christmas came and went and it lived up to all my expectations. We baked and decorated Christmas cookies, well I baked and decorated cookies and Evie ate the sprinkles. She did, however get the concept of opening presents and wanted to open all of them at once-whether they were hers to open or not! One of her favorite presents was knitted hat that looks like an owl face from aunt Erica. As soon as she opened it she put it on her curly head and exclaimed "hat! hat!" as she walked around the room and showed it off-it was so cute! Christmas Eve we got some snow and Evie played in it for the first time. She loved it at first but it did not last long since she refused to wear her gloves. She was happily throwing snow off her slide when all of a sudden she got a horrified look on her face and looked down at her cold red hands and burst into tears. We quickly went inside and snuggled until her little hands warmed up. Maybe next time she will listen to me and put on gloves, but probably not.

After Christmas, came New Years which was spent at home, low key, which was much needed after running everywhere to see family over Christmas. And after New Years came...That's right-My 30th, yes 30th birthday. I was expecting to be depressed and have all of these horrible thoughts about how old I am but really, I still feel pretty much the same as I did at age 29. And when I think back to when I was age 20 and picturing where I would be in 10 years I am exactly where I thought I would be-married to a wonderful man with an adorable child, working as a nurse and living our own home. So really, I have nothing to complain about-I feel very blessed! The Friday after my birthday I took the day off work, shuttled Evie in to daycare and had a "me" day! I got a mani/pedi and eyebrow wax, went shopping, ate lunch out. I enjoyed myself very much but, around lunchtime I found myself missing my girl and wanting to pick her up, but I pushed passed that thought, and finished shopping before picking her up. I think every mama needs to do this once in a while-I am fortunate to get a day off work every year for my birthday and this is the one day a year I allow myself to be a little selfish and have time to myself, and I come back relaxed and renewed.

Entering my 30's is not the only new thing for me. I also have learned the art of couponing. You may laugh at my coupon binder ( yes, I have a binder, with labels and sections) and think I am lame when I get excited while looking through ads but you won't be laughing when you see my store receipt that says that I spent $35.42 and saved $239.96! I have learned a whole new way to shop-by stocking up on items when they are on sale and combing the sale with a coupon instead of just making a list and buying what I need for the week. Saving money is so exciting to me. We can use that money saved on household items and groceries to buy things we want and put money in saving for Evie. And by couponing I can use extra items in my stockpile to donate to the needy-I have an exciting opportunity coming up where my stockpile items can be used to help others-more on that later!

So coupons I love, but snow on the other hand, I could do without. Yes it looks pretty enough as it falls quietly from the sky. But it is cold, it causes roads to be a mess and looks dingy and gross just days later! Today I declared a snow day for myself. Evie has a nasty cold anyway and had been congested and coughing throughout the night so I already considered staying home with her and when I woke up to 10 inches of snow I made that decision pretty quickly. I think Evie and I both needed some snuggle time. She woke up very congested and cranky even after sleeping in. But after I built a tent out of blankets and chairs and filled it with pillows, blankets, books and snacks she quickly got over her crankiness. And after a 3 hour nap this afternoon she seemed to be feeling a bit better. During her nap I decided to become Betty Crocker and get my baking on. I made banana bread and apple cobbler-Yum! There is just something about cold, snowy weather that makes me want to bake. The warmth and the sweet smells coming from the oven are enough to make any house cozy. And speaking of cobbler I think it is time for me to stop typing and start eating!

Christmas

I love Christmas! I love putting up the tree (or in my case 3 trees-yes I am slightly obsessive) and as I pull out each ornament from the box and unwrap it from it's safe cocoon of tissue paper I am taken back to where I was when I bought or received the ornament. My mom had given us one with 2 snuggling snow-people on our first Christmas as a married couple when we were still starry eyed newly weds-only having been married a little over 3 months at that point. There is a fragile shell ornament that we bought on our honeymoon in the Bahama's-I remember standing in the street market with the hot sun beating down on us trying to decide on the perfect ornament to hang on our first tree. And of course now there hangs an ornament of a pudgy baby bear sucking on a pacifier and clutching a bottle to signify Evie's first Christmas. I even have an angel ornament from my Grandma dated 1984! I love the glowing lights on the tree, the soft velvet tree skirt, the glisten of the satin ribbons. I could go on and on-and I am still only on part one of why I love Christmas!

I also love presents-not necessarily receiving them although I think no matter how old I get I will always get a bit of a thrill from shaking a present with crisp wrapping paper and shiny bow while trying to guess what might be inside. I love picking out the perfect gift and then selecting the perfect wrapping paper complete with the matching ribbon and tag. And of course I love to coordinate all the presents under the tree because, well, this is me we are talking about and those kind of touches make me feel quite giddy!

I love Christmas music-the old stuff and the newer, re-made songs-I love them all. I love to sing along to them and dance to them (although the singing may be off key and the dancing downright scary) I also love to wrap the above mentioned presents while listening to Christmas music, and although I may act irritated when radio stations and stores play Christmas music before Thanksgiving, deep down I am really thrilled, because if I could get away with it I would probably listen to it all year long.

I love the light displays and every time I pass by a colorfully decorated lawn I am reminded of "The Way of Lights" display and the Precious Moment's Chapel in Carthage, Missouri that my family, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins would go to every year, and although I am quite sure it was the same every year, it always felt like it was the first time I was seeing it.

I love all the food-baking and decorating Christmas cookies, candy canes, hot-chocolate, baked ham-again I could go on and on-no wonder I gain so much over the holidays. But really, it is totally worth it!

I love the classic movies-"It's a wonderful Life", "How the Grinch stole Christmas", "a Christmas Carol" and many more.

I love Christmas! Can you tell? I am telling you, Christmas to me is like catnip to a cat or crack to a drug addict-not trying to promote the use of illicit drugs here people, but seriously I think Christmas has a strange effect on me-I get giddy and silly, I feel like a kid again, I have the best memories of past Christmases and look forward to the future as I pass these traditions down to Evie, and hopefully when she is almost 30 (not that I am that old yet, of course) she will still feel like a kid again-at least for the month of December!

Happy Halloween! (ok so I am a little late)

Let me just say, if I thought Halloween was fun before having a child I was wrong-Halloween with a toddler who is just learning the concept of trick-or -treating, now that is really fun! Last year we dressed Evie up in her flower costume and she was adorable, of course. We took her around the neighborhood in her stroller,but she really had no concept of what was going on or what we were doing. This year we dressed her up as a ballerina. Her grandma sewed her the most beautiful little costume, and we completed the look with some "ballet slippers" from target (rubber bottom sock/shoes that were made to look like ballet slippers)

Friday she took part in her Halloween party at daycare. Her teachers loved her costume and were quite impressed with grandma's sewing skills and of course my ability to shop for cute shoes. The classes took turns trick-or-treating and passing out treats-and yes I was the dorky mom that brought raisins and goldfish crackers for the kids-but at least she won't know I am the dorky mom for another few years. And although the kids were not allowed to eat their treats until they went home-she still learned a very "bad" word that day-candy! I did have to "steal" her for a bit to show her off in her costume to my co-workers (one of the many advantages to having a daycare onsite) And even the sternest doctor that I work for admitted that she was pretty darn cute! (that was after he teased me about not working and instead playing with Evie all day) That evening Evie had a blast carrying her treat bag around the house and shaking it it to hear the candy rattle around. I made the mistake of giving her the fruit snacks out of her bag as an after dinner treat because then she realized all the treats in her bag were edible and of course she must eat them. She brought me a bag of skittles and pleaded "candy! eat! candy! eat!" and when I told her no she threw herself to the ground and cried her baby blues out until she got distracted by the TV-then all was well. I have to admit her tantrum was kind of funny but I did manage to keep my stern mom face on the entire time. Saturday we went to a fall party/bonfire at Aunt Lea and Uncle Dan's house and Evie had a blast playing with her cousins and friends and gathering pine cones from their huge yard. She even attempted "bobbing" for corn. (corn hung from strings on a clothesline, and you try to pull the corn off using only your mouth) when she saw the older kids try she thought it was hilarious and took a turn for herself. She liked the bonfire-a little too much and probably would have ran right into it if we had let her. She would only sit still on Papa's lap and they had fun singing along to the music that was playing. I think she also liked the marshmallows that Papa kept sneaking her. Sunday she woke up with watery eyes and a runny nose-she looked kind of pitiful so we took it easy and snuggled on the living room floor with blankets, pillows and a veggie tale movie. After a 3 hour nap and some nasal spray she was ready to go-trick-or-treating that is. Aunt Erica came over to take some pictures of the little ballerina and made the mistake of telling Evie to "say cheese" to which Evie responded by running into the kitchen, pounding on the fridge and demanding "cheese! cheese!" so we had to give her some cheese since aunt Erica "offered" it. After getting her picture taken by mom, grandma and Erica we were ready for the main event. We loaded her up in her wagon, and we were off, but we quickly discovered that little miss independent wanted to walk on her own, and that is what she did. She was not shy at all! She waked right up and declared "tee to teat" (trick or treat) and with some prompting from mommy she would pick her candy, and give a grin and a "tank too" (thank you) and a quick "bye bye" before heading off to the next house. And she would not just walk to the next house, but rather run down the sidewalk declaring "go go go" Her pure excitement over such a small thing as getting candy was so much fun to watch. She was so proud of herself for being a "big girl" and picking out her own candy. I think her mama was beaming with as much pride as she watched her baby turn into a "big girl." I think I laughed almost the entire time just watching her in amazement-I am still not sure who had more fun. As the evening wore on our little miss began to get tired and a wee bit cranky and had an all out meltdown when I tried to help her with her candy bag-she had a death grip on that thing! So, we headed home and off to bed she went. And the big kids (Erica, Dennis and myself) spent the rest of the evening parked in front of the bonfire sipping apple cider, eating chili and chatting with neighbors. It was a perfect end to the day!

I Surrender

1. All to Jesus I surrender;
   All to Him I freely give;
   I will ever love and trust Him,
   In His presence daily live.
   • Refrain:
     I surrender all,
     I surrender all;
     All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
     I surrender all.
2. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Humbly at His feet I bow,
   Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
   Take me, Jesus, take me now.
3. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
   Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
   Truly know that Thou art mine.
4. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Lord, I give myself to Thee;
   Fill me with Thy love and power;
   Let Thy blessing fall on me.
5. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Now I feel the sacred flame.
   Oh, the joy of full salvation!
   Glory, glory, to His Name!
6. I woke up this morning with these lyrics going through my head. It is an old hymn-not a new upbeat worship song that I usually sing but one I have known since I was very little. And it really has made me think. What does it mean to truly surrender? So, as I often do I looked it up and it's meaning is powerful: To yield to the possession or power of another; to give up oneself; to give up, abandon or relinquish. So when I say I surrender to Jesus I am literally giving up myself, and letting him take control. This can be a terrifying thought for a control freak like me, but sometimes even control freaks need to let go, and let me tell you, letting it go into Jesus' hands is the best place to put something when you give up control.

facebook fast

Lately I have realized that I am spending too much time on facebook-reading up on what "sally" ate for dinner or what "jane" thinks about a tv show-when really? what does it matter? Now I know "sally" eating a cheeseburger or "jane" watching one tree hill are not bad things, they don't bother me but then there are the posts that cause drama. And maybe the poster did not intend to cause drama-so why do things irritate me soo much? Why do I feel as though their opinions are an open attack on me and my lifestyle? I am who I am and I do what I do and I need to not worry about how other people feel about that. The One that I should be concerned about pleasing probably would not be pleased by my gossiping and stressing about what is said on facebook. Philippians 4:8 says: Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Now I realize many people post good things on facebook-getting a new job, picture of a new baby, etc. and that is why I will be back on facebook again, but for right now I need to step away from the negative things and focus on good things. I need to learn to find my acceptance in Christ alone-because he is the one that created me to be who I am. He knows my heart. He is the one that decides what is right and wrong. He is the One I am living for. So for now I am taking a fast from facebook.