Just Dance!

Have you ever watched a little kid dance? They don't look around to see if anyone is watching. They don't care if they have the best moves or are in rhythm. I watched Evie the other day when a song she apparently liked came on, she got a big grin on her face, complete with the squinty eyes that come whenever she smiles. Her little diaper bootie started shaking and she started swinging her arms around randomly, much like how her mama dances. She was not embarrassed or shy, she heard the music, felt the music and did what came naturally-she grooved to the music. At what point in our lives do we start to be concerned with what others think? When did I become worried that someone might laugh at my no-rhythm having self gyrating around with my one arm that always ends up in the air (according to my hubby this is how I always look when I dance, but I just claim it is my "signature move" ) Why can't I dance whenever I hear a good song, whether in my head or in reality. Like, someday I just want to be at work and be like "Why yes doctor, I did get that cardiac cath report on Mr. Jones, and I also got...my groove on" or "Sure I will pull up those chest films for you to review and then I will show you my way cool dance moves" and then just bust out with a dance. Now that would be awesome, OK I may lose my job if I did that or at the very least be looked at like I have to heads and be known as that crazy cardiology nurse that scares patients (and doctors) with her dancing, but you have to admit, it would be fun! It is not just toddlers that feel free to dance without fear of how they will be judged, but also the "more mature population." I once saw an older couple at an outdoor concert just dancing away, totally unconcerned with the fact that no one else was dancing, they were just in the moment, they were feeling the music, and I personally thought they were adorable and that when I am "old" I hope to be the same way. But why? Why can't I just bust out with a dance now? I wish I could just not care about looking professional or pulled together all the time and just have fun, life is too short not to enjoy, so if you see me walking down the street and I stop to "bust a move" try not to laugh-at least not too hard, and maybe join in-I promise-it will be fun!

Insanity

no, I am not going crazy, or maybe I am...

A few months ago I was whining once again about my flabby post baby stomach (yes, I realize the kid is now 2 and eventually I need to quit blaming my being flabby on having a baby) Anyway, the hubby and I were laying in bed watching TV and on comes an infomercial for a workout video called Insanity which promised Insane results (if you are willing to put forth an insane amount of effort that is) in 60 days. We looked at the before and after photos and I said, without really thinking, " Now that is what I need! I need results in 60 days!' And my hubby actually did not laugh at me as I would have expected, but rather said " Hmm, I would like to have more muscles in 60 days-maybe I need this too!" we joked about "becoming buff" for a few minutes before rolling over and going to sleep. I did not think much more about it. A few days go by and the hubs walks in holding a "present" for me-that is right he found a brand new copy of the Insanity work out videos on Craig's list for about half the price! I immediately thought "Oh Lord, what have I gotten myself into?" We decided to wait to start the videos due to hubby just getting over the flu, well the DVDs sat there on top of the entertainment center, unopened for a few weeks. Fast forward to Monday June 20th , I was sitting on the couch, feeling very sluggish, no energy, out of shape and really, almost depressed and I thought-I need to do something, so I grabbed the box and opened it up and asked hubs if he was game-he was-and so began our Insanity adventure. The first night is simply a fit test to see how many reps you can do of certain exercises-ok not too hard but I did feel quite out of shape seeing how many reps the people on the DVD could do and how few I could do. But, after all this is only day one right? Day 2 came-and kicked my bootie. I had more sweat rolling off of me than I have had with any other workout, heck, I was sweating more than when I was in labor! The next day I was feeling it-I looked like an old woman trying to climb out of bed. Muscles that I did not even know I had were sore! But I stuck with it, and now I have just completed day 2 of the third week (hubby had to stop for the time after getting a really bad ear and sinus infection that caused him to get dizzy) It is hard, really hard, but I knew it would be, after all it is called Insanity, right?! But, what is amazing is my energy level is better, my mood is better, even my memory and concentration seems to be improving just by exercising 6 days a week. I also repeated the fit test on day 15 and had improvement on all of the exercises (anywhere from 3-19 more reps) I used to go to the gym a few times a week but was not pushing myself. I would go and put the hour in a half-hearted manor and expect results, and saw no change. It is definitely a challenge to commit to working out intensely 6 nights a week, especially with working full time and having a 2 year old and a house to take care of, but I need to do this for me. I am just most afraid I will spend all this time and effort and not see the results I want, but I guess only time will tell. I also hope not to lose my motivation, but it helps having a set time frame of 60 days-just make it through 60 days and then, I don't know what is next but I would love to say I completed the entire 60 day program. Oh, and as for diet, I am not following any set diet plan other than eating healthy, high protein foods (including protein bars in the morning and a protein shake after a workout) and trying to stay away from foods high in sugar and empty calories. But, I will admit I am still a dr. pepper addict and I need my caffeine so that is the one vice I have. So, there it is, and I will not post any before pics until I have after pics that I am satisfied with to display side by side.

If you have not heard of Insanity here is a link to the video (because I am technologically challenged and cannot figure out how to post a video to my blog)

http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/insanity.do?gclid=CIiN_87d66kCFVDCKgodmHbkYA&code=SEMB_GOOGLE_SAN&extcmp=gd05bbe2dc2c4090&ef_id=2g5M@ldkAQABwOw:20110706030356:s

Don't Conform, be Transformed

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. -Romans 12:2

Often times I find myself asking God-"what is your will for my life?" or "what should I do in this situation" and I get irritated and frustrated when I don't get an answer. But, I am going about it all wrong. I am spending too much time conforming to the pattern of this world and not enough time renewing my mind and being transformed. I want to look a certain way, I want my house to look just right, I want everyone to like me. I read magazines that are filled with useless information, I waste too much time on facebook or blogs just looking to see what others are doing and saying. I spend too much time cleaning. I spend time shopping and trying to get the best deals. None of these are "bad" things- in fact some of them are good, but I have let them take the place of reading God's word, I get too busy and at the end of the day I skim through a few verses and a quick devotional and expect that to renew my mind?! Most of the time when I wake up in the morning I don't even remember what I read.

The definition of renew is to revive; reestablish. If I really want to revive my mind I need to dig deep into the word of God, press in and seek him in prayer so that I will no longer be conformed to this world but be transformed (to change in condition, nature or character; convert.) Once I am transformed I will be able to understand and follow God's will for my life, his good, pleasing and perfect will.

only 2 for a minute

Today I started out my usual Saturday routine of laundry, sweeping floors and picking up toys when I looked over at Evie quietly looking at her books and then I looked out of the window and saw the sun shining, I quickly said "forget this!" I got us both dressed and her, daddy and I went to the Florissant Valley of Flowers festivities. We walked around the craft fair, watched jugglers and clowns, listened to a band play silly kid songs and watched a ventriloquist act-Evie had a very serious look on her face and watched very intently-still not sure if she was scared or just really into it-maybe a little of both. We then went to Steak-n-Shake for lunch and then home for nap time (for Evie) and sit outside and flip through magazine time (for mama) The little one only napped for an hour-I think she instinctively knew that napping inside was a waste of a perfectly gorgeous day. When she woke up we played outside with her little cars, rolling them off the porch and into the flowerbed-it does not take much to excite her. I love seeing things through her eyes-she notices every little bug and stick. She sees things so differently then I as an adult do. For instance, the welcome mat on my porch has a design in it that I have never really paid much attention to, she looked at it and pointed to a spot and said plane, and sure enough at second glance it did look like a plane! We then took Arnie for a walk I let her hold the very end of the leash, and let her "help" me walk him, although I had the mid potion of the leash and was keeping him from pulling she was so proud to be "walking the dog". And the bonus- by her holding onto the leash it kept her from running off which is always a good thing. When we got home it cracked me up that the first thing she told dada about was that "Arnie pooped on the ground" She was so bothered that he just did his business right there and then to make matters worse mama picked it up with a little plastic bag-which when you think about it, to a two year old that would be quite disturbing. We played outside some more and then I cooked dinner on the grill and we ate outside. I just could not get enough of this weather. And I could not get enough of my little girl! She is so funny and smart. I am so glad that I put away my chore list and spent the day with my little girl, because chores will always be there but my little girl will only be two for a minute.

And since she will only be this small for a short time I want to share some funny/sweet things she says and does so that I will not forget!

-her ball was rolling away the other day and she set it on the ground, pointed her little finger at it and told it very sternly "you stay right there"

-the dog was barking in the kitchen while we were in the bedroom so Evie ran down the hall and asked "Arnie, why you barking? need to go potty?"

-I bought her a new bedspread for her big girl bed and while it was still in the package I showed it to her and she wrapped her arms around it and said "ohh I like it" and she wanted to take it with her to daycare. Then when I finished hanging pictures and curtains in her new "big girl room" she told me "ohh I love it mama, thank you"

-she says "please" "thank you" and "you are welcome" -most of the time on her own and it makes this mama proud

- one night I heard her saying "thank you Jesus for mama and dada and house and food" while she was laying in bed.

-she sings her "abc's" and "Jesus loves me" and she counts (with some help) to 10-although she has some struggles with colors and likes to call every color pink-what can I say, she is a girl, or if I ask "what color is that" she just repeats the question back to me if she is not sure of the answer-it cracks me up!

-I love how she is showing emotions like pride like when she helps feed the dog or when I walked into her daycare class for her mother's day party she just beamed-it seriously melts my heart.

-although, at some point this may get old, right now it is so sweet when she is always asking questions "what's that mama?" "what are you doing dada?" "where is Arnie" she is so curious and just wants to know what is going on around her and I am the luckiest mama in the world to be able to teach her all these things.

I could go on and on but for now,on the the day before mother's day, I will just leave this one message to my sweet Evie-bear. I love you so much and I am so proud to be your mama, everything you do amazes me. God picked you out special for me and entrusted me to be the mama that raises you and while I may not be perfect I will always try to do my best and you will always be my sweet baby girl. And although you may not understand how much this mama loves you, one day when you are looking down at your own sweet babies, then my dear, you know.

Happy Birthday my sweet Evie bear!

(picture taken on 2/23/11 at 12:49 pm-exactly 2 years old)

Dear Evie, are you really 2 years old? Where has the time gone? I blinked and you went from a tiny, helpless newborn to an energetic toddler! Each day I feel like I love you more, if that is even possible. You are such a funny, sweet, happy girl. Your daddy and I are so proud to be your parents. I look at you and am amazed at how blessed I am to get the honor of being your mommy. You have developed your own unique personality. You are shy in new situations, but once you are comfortable, you become the life of the party. You are so sweet and loving and you give the best kisses when asked, complete with the "Mmmah" sound. I love it when I pick you up from daycare and as soon as you see me your face lights up and you run over to me and wrap your arms around me and exclaim "mommy!" and then you point to me and tell the other kids in your class that I am your mommy, like you are proud to have me as a mom. And that melts my heart, and I am taking it all in now because I know as you grow you will go through stages where mom is not cool anymore, but for now I am your favorite and that is all that matters! You are a bit of a perfectionist and like things to be just a certain way, and you get quite irritated when things are not going your way (I guess you took after mommy in more ways then I realized) You are talking so much now and you are so smart! You know most animals and the noises they make. You count to 1o with a little help, you can sing your ABC's with a little help as well. It is so fun seeing you go from a little baby that just repeats what we say, to a toddler that uses words to communicate. When I asked you what you wanted the other day you looked up at me with those big blue eyes and said "a drink of milk" as if you had been talking your whole life. You also like to grab our hands and say "come on" and direct us to where you want us to go. You have favorites now, like Mickey Mouse, your "baby bear", monkeys, cheese (especially string cheese), coloring and Little Peoples. Your favorite shows include Dora, The Fresh Beat Band and Wow Wow Wubzy, you also love your Elmo's Potty Time DVD, although you are not so fond of sitting on your own potty yet, but that will all come in time. You like music and will sing along when I sing to you before bed -and that by the way is my favorite part of the day when we sit in your room in the rocking chair and snuggle, read books, sing and say our prayers. You even will add your list of things that we thank Jesus for, sometimes they are quite random like when you thanked Jesus for our house, daddy's pocket and Elmo. But you are learning to pray and that makes me so proud. I could go on and on about all of the things that I love about you and all of the funny things you say and do, but I won't, at least not now. I will leave you with this one last thought. Although I tell you to quit growing and to stay little, I know that will not happen. You will continue to grow and mature, as you should. And though it is hard as a mommy, I will let you experience things in life and not try to keep you my tiny baby. Because as a certain person keeps telling me, it is like the movie Finding Nemo, if I say that I will never let anything happen to you ever, that would be selfish of me, because by keeping things from happening to you I am keeping you from good and exciting things as well. So my dear Evie, it is hard for me to say,but I want you to continue to grow into a sweet young lady that I already see in you. You will fall down sometimes and I will be here to pick you up and kiss your hurts but as you leave this baby stage I want you to know you are doing exactly what you should and that, my dear could not make this mama happier. I love you and had a great day with you today. Happy birthday my big girl!

Christmas, Coupons, Snow and turning 30!

Wow! I can't believe how long it has been since I blogged! Where do I begin? Christmas came and went and it lived up to all my expectations. We baked and decorated Christmas cookies, well I baked and decorated cookies and Evie ate the sprinkles. She did, however get the concept of opening presents and wanted to open all of them at once-whether they were hers to open or not! One of her favorite presents was knitted hat that looks like an owl face from aunt Erica. As soon as she opened it she put it on her curly head and exclaimed "hat! hat!" as she walked around the room and showed it off-it was so cute! Christmas Eve we got some snow and Evie played in it for the first time. She loved it at first but it did not last long since she refused to wear her gloves. She was happily throwing snow off her slide when all of a sudden she got a horrified look on her face and looked down at her cold red hands and burst into tears. We quickly went inside and snuggled until her little hands warmed up. Maybe next time she will listen to me and put on gloves, but probably not.

After Christmas, came New Years which was spent at home, low key, which was much needed after running everywhere to see family over Christmas. And after New Years came...That's right-My 30th, yes 30th birthday. I was expecting to be depressed and have all of these horrible thoughts about how old I am but really, I still feel pretty much the same as I did at age 29. And when I think back to when I was age 20 and picturing where I would be in 10 years I am exactly where I thought I would be-married to a wonderful man with an adorable child, working as a nurse and living our own home. So really, I have nothing to complain about-I feel very blessed! The Friday after my birthday I took the day off work, shuttled Evie in to daycare and had a "me" day! I got a mani/pedi and eyebrow wax, went shopping, ate lunch out. I enjoyed myself very much but, around lunchtime I found myself missing my girl and wanting to pick her up, but I pushed passed that thought, and finished shopping before picking her up. I think every mama needs to do this once in a while-I am fortunate to get a day off work every year for my birthday and this is the one day a year I allow myself to be a little selfish and have time to myself, and I come back relaxed and renewed.

Entering my 30's is not the only new thing for me. I also have learned the art of couponing. You may laugh at my coupon binder ( yes, I have a binder, with labels and sections) and think I am lame when I get excited while looking through ads but you won't be laughing when you see my store receipt that says that I spent $35.42 and saved $239.96! I have learned a whole new way to shop-by stocking up on items when they are on sale and combing the sale with a coupon instead of just making a list and buying what I need for the week. Saving money is so exciting to me. We can use that money saved on household items and groceries to buy things we want and put money in saving for Evie. And by couponing I can use extra items in my stockpile to donate to the needy-I have an exciting opportunity coming up where my stockpile items can be used to help others-more on that later!

So coupons I love, but snow on the other hand, I could do without. Yes it looks pretty enough as it falls quietly from the sky. But it is cold, it causes roads to be a mess and looks dingy and gross just days later! Today I declared a snow day for myself. Evie has a nasty cold anyway and had been congested and coughing throughout the night so I already considered staying home with her and when I woke up to 10 inches of snow I made that decision pretty quickly. I think Evie and I both needed some snuggle time. She woke up very congested and cranky even after sleeping in. But after I built a tent out of blankets and chairs and filled it with pillows, blankets, books and snacks she quickly got over her crankiness. And after a 3 hour nap this afternoon she seemed to be feeling a bit better. During her nap I decided to become Betty Crocker and get my baking on. I made banana bread and apple cobbler-Yum! There is just something about cold, snowy weather that makes me want to bake. The warmth and the sweet smells coming from the oven are enough to make any house cozy. And speaking of cobbler I think it is time for me to stop typing and start eating!